I chatted to a family member early this morning. I knew she would be awake, because she’s getting regular blood transfusions to treat an aggressive leukaemia. Later, she sent me a voice note describing what had happened the previous evening, how the doctor was screaming instructions to everybody around her bed – basically to keep her alive.
She said a nurse stayed next to her bed 24 hours a day. She called the nurse her guardian angel. She was so overcome by emotions that she couldn’t continue speaking. She’s exhausted. Weak from the chemo. Her life hanging by a thread.
She’s very frail and that’s understandable.
I replay her voice note a few times and hear so much more in her voice. The exhaustion. The pain. The worry about the people at home. Her anxiety about what tomorrow will bring. She has so many questions, but at the same time she’s so grateful for her guardian angel who probably saved her life that night.
At times like this I realise how little words can say. I want to comfort her, but again the verse seems too small to make a difference to such a big wound. The dark cloud is simply too thick to allow any light on the horizon to shine through.
Many of us have been (and are) caught in a cloud with no visible relief in sight. You can hardly see your hand in front of your eyes, so how would you even find the road somewhere out there to lead you out of the crisis?
What can one say in such a situation? What do you do when you find yourself in such a life-changing situation? Nothing seems adequate.
I believe there is only one place you can go to. There is actually only one person who knows everything that’s going on. He can see in the dark. He knows where the exit is.
God.
We have to place everything in his hands. We have to put ourselves in his hands, because He is the only One who really knows what is going on and where we’re actually going and how we’ll get out of that dark cloud.
Because He promises this: 16So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
I don’t really know how our family member will get through the darkness. I know even less where she’ll end up. But I do know that God knows. I also know that He will be good to her and the rest of the family. He will give all of them more than they deserve.
He will cover everyone in his love blankie. The only place with real rest and real peace.
And, yes, He is on 24 hour duty with us and He is our guardian angel, for sure.
Scripture
Hebrews 4:12-16
Reflection
How thick is your thunder cloud?
Where are you looking for guidance?
Do you believe that God is there with you?
Prayer
Our Father, I really needed this right now. I’m suffering and I’m afraid of the dark. Thank you for your promise that You are here with me. Please show me the way out of the dark. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
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